Written by: Justine Mallari January 26, 2024
I was raised to look after my health and wellness for it is fragile. In a capsule of time, college life is physically and mentally draining. You need to travel long distances, attend early classes that finish up late at night, chase deadlines, and wake up in a cycle. They say, you never know when is the biggest day of your life that’s why you pressure yourself all the way down to your spine just to make each day of your life, that biggest day. As a student nurse, I had and will be able to undergo delicate ballets of study that also need sufficient self-care and understanding. As I enter every classroom door, meet new people undergo hours of lecture, and scan through a great number of book pages and digital sources, I will continue to aim high. As I hike higher and higher, the thinner the air goes, the stronger the wind. But since I know what I am capable of as I am taking care of myself well, I will be able to get to the peak and see the flowing cloud touching the palm of my hands. But I always ask myself, “Is this enough?”
Morning coffee cups
As the 4:30 am daylight struck my bare and tired eyes, my cycle of the day started. Since I have an early class to go to, I tend to depart at 6:00 am, tend to miss breakfast, and will just bring a single cracker at school. But amidst these anatomical textbooks, these 5 hours of memorization, and endless coffee cups, there’s a whisper lingering in my ear, “Rest, eat". These 2 words have been affecting my life lately. This just reflects that I must not pressure myself to do the things that need a certain amount of time to work on in just one day. I voyaged through vast experiences of medical education and ended up finding myself entangled with mindfulness well-being. I know that college is hard, but I never imagined it to be this hard. Yes, I am still a freshman who has just the introductory part of the college storybook, but I am still writing and reading the first chapters of it.
“Will I ever make it through the semester? Is my effort, the kind of effort and output my professors and clinical instructors looking for?” These are the questions that kept lingering in my mindless mind. But I know that I am more than this. That I am more than a burnt-out college student who just started her college storyline. My mom always told me that my health must always be my top priority, whether what grades I have or what accomplishments I can achieve, if I have a weak immune system, then what’s the point if I am unable to even open my tired eyes and to take a leap the next day. So, I then started to plot things that needed to be worked on, and will eventually work my way to it, to reconstruct myself, and not just a girl who’s getting through her student nursing journey.
Getting back on track
As a freshman nursing student, schedules and the overall experience in medical school can be quite demanding, starting from the early am class sessions to the 9:00 pm night classes, it burns out freshmen like me. This is why we need to realize and see the things that we must work on and fix to positively benefit ourselves as well as our educational and learning mechanisms. We need to pin out those gaps that may drain us even if it's unnoticeable, for it may grow if not patched. Just like from the line of the song Bad Blood: “Band-aids don’t fix bullet holes”. I will strive to fix those bullet holes that completely damage me as a student, as a daughter, and as a friend, as everything will eventually start within me, and only me.
In my situation, I started off identifying my priorities, setting up certain goals, and of course, managing my time, from the time I wake up, eating, departing and going back home. I started taking the most important meal of the deal, taking much more fluids, and eating the right foods at the right time. Making a To-Do list was a step for me to be productive as I am aware of the list that I must be completing that day or that certain week. And, I started going back to doing some pilates, stretching out every morning and before bedtime for at least 5-10 minutes because not just I want to lose weight, but I want to maximize my physical strength and flexibility which I can assure, will boost my confidence. Walking was also one of the best exercises that I could do as a busy medical student. Since I have no time and have insufficient budget to go hit the gym, I started choosing walking rather than taking jeepney rides for short distances, like when I go to Roxas or even the Gaisano mall. In this way, I am maximizing my physical body to go through short distances from time to time to engage it more.
Dressing up and going on travels was my escape route! I love to lend my ears in the blowing wind, strong waves from the vast open sea, how I shiver since I wore the wrong types of clothes because I fold when someone turn their heads and compliment my outfit. I just eases my anxiety and boost my confidence. Just find your own unique way to ease those wrecking balls and dodge bullets.
In addition, finding the right group of friends is extremely critical to start to maintain a great self-care routine as some circles may be draining you too much, pressuring you to achieve the best of the best, and/or be like them. But you don’t need those people. Don’t let your haters stop you from doing your thing and those things that define you for who you are. Avoid toxicity! Be aware of red lights, and focus on the green lights. Don’t change yourself to fit others' standards, for them to see you and change their perspective, you are not a tourist attraction. You just need to face our negativities and be the positive one.
Recharge and Rise
Sleeping is just my comfort zone, it makes me feel strong and full of energy as I wake up getting ready for breakfast. As I dug further into medicine, I learned that sufficient sleep greatly contributes to a person’s overall wellness and well-being thus improving one’s brain functionality. As the brain continues to do this, it stores new information and your body eliminates toxins releases beneficial hormones and new cells, and replenishes its energy. We learn to sleep, not as an escape, but as a weapon. Each humble night, the comfort of our bed as we doze off till sunrise fills our bodies and minds from each broken part of ourselves caused by extreme stress, sleepless nights, and cups of coffee to keep us awake and alert at all times. It is the armor of every person to calm the strongest waves of stress and depression they are currently experiencing. Our strength comes from the sleep we have, if we only take a nap for 2-3 hours, then our body will be unable to rebuild and restore cells for us to regain energy and work through the draining day.
To be honest, I was a coffee lover back in time, I never missed any iced coffee before going inside the campus. My friends sometimes call me the “Don Mac suki” since I always grab a cup if I have the time to do so. But since I started limiting my coffee intake, clearness of thinking then resurfaced, and I was not having any severe coffee trembles, stutters, and acid reflux anymore. Focus-centered was also noticed which is crucial for a nursing student like me to unlock and replenish my critical thinking and understanding skills. Instead, I started just getting enough sleep to keep me awake and alert at all times, taking more healthy solids and fluids to energize my body and mind throughout the day. Though sometimes I need a cup especially when I am studying for an exam or any return demonstration, I tend to drink water more than coffee to ease the aftermath.
Today, I can doze off whenever and whenever my body needs to, such as during break times and during my transportation. So sleep and make yourself comfortable as much as you can. Before nap time, I tend to lessen my usage of electronic devices, drink warm milk to soothe my rest, and keep my room dark and quiet where you can only hear the wind pass by the neighbor’s trees. Also, I listen to my sleep playlist on Spotify, which makes my sleep as light as a feather, tranquilizing the raging storms inside my head. As we doze off, our memories are then cemented in our brain, regulating our emotions, sending accurate signals to improve well-being, and performance and especially to combat stress. It is just so peaceful to shut your tired eyes and be woken up by birds chirping by the windows, and to hear the roosters start to greet the tenderness of the morning light striking my damped eyes. Trust me, the darkness of the night will be your friend, if you just turn those fluorescent lights off, doze off through the night, dream big, and fulfill that dream.
From Hustle to Comfort
Believe me, not a single college student is in complete comfort, we are all in a state where at some point, we start thinking if this course is the right course for us or if we are just taking this due to family reasons or for practicality. But, let us not forget that this time, as a college student, we are now raising medical heroes, front liners, the ones who face the tremors and fears of many. Which is why we need to look after ourselves more. Day by day, I open my eyes and realize what I missed and what I need to do, by this, I grab my phone and start working through the day.
Cramming was not my forte, it made me uncomfortable for squeezing my capabilities in a certain amount of time while making sure that my output would be one of the best. However, due to procrastination under any circumstances, I ended up cramming. But now, since the second semester of my freshmen nursing storyline just started its page, I learned how to maximize my time and to do the things that can be done as early as possible, so that I can check for its quality more than quantity. Now, I have the time to make the best for myself. I will have the time crochet, spend time with my family, to go out and spend time with my outside-of-the-university circle, catch up with their lives, and especially, for me to reach my optimum self-understanding. And you must rest at home, grab a yoga mat, stretch your stresses up, and start nourishing your body. Also, build up for a better and cozy environment, and find your rhythm for you to thrive and not just survive.
Beat that, future RN!
We students are not just students. We are dreaming people who want to make those dreams come true. I just need to fight, until I can’t fight anymore, and if I can’t I’ll just go run back home, unpack my things, eat dinner, doze off, and just wake up the next day, for this is another opportunity for me to experience the life challenged for me. If I ever fall, my mind will then remind me of the sleepless nights, the hard work, missed meals, and crying nights, or else I’ll end up in that empty dark room filled with misery, empathy, and regrets with a burnt ending for I did not rise back up from my fall. I understand every pain, even if I am still at the fresh part of the college book, I understand your pain and suffering. But you must also understand yourself, encourage yourself to go beyond those textbooks, and those knowledge, and face your capacities and bring them back to life. As a student nurse who is striving to make for the best, I’ll keep on wandering and be curious about life. I will stay conscious of my surroundings because I am not sitting on the sidelines watching my life passes by for I did not take care of myself and did not set up my priorities.
I will continue to embark on my journey, to walk through every gallery of anatomical textbooks, for more memorization parts while keeping myself healthy and maximizing my good well-being for my body’s optimization. I may fall from time to time, but that’s just life, you just need to set goals and priorities to cancel out those toxins from your life. Toxins that damage you as who you are and block you from doing the things you want to do. The road may seem, long, and arduous, but with the right self-care, mindset, and confidence, you will be able to overcome it. Surround yourselves with supporting families and peers, with those who gave you positive influences. But always be ready to go and enter the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, the hospital. Remember that the future is the home of our deepest fears and our wildest hopes. So, let’s just run on, run on to the brighter future. Run and save lives, future nurse!
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